Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize