You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
