Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
