i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
