I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
