The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
