Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I lost the right to judge tonight
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
