Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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