how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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