You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
