I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Can I color on your dick again?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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