great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
