I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
