you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
