You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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