i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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