I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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