The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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