weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How naked do you want me to be?
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