if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you never un-have a 4some
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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