i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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