i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
