the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize