apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
