Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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