You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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