they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
