I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
