He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
