I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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