I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
