She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
