I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
