As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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