so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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