One girl and one boy is just not enough.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
