Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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