Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
