I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
