I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
