problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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