my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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