Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
