Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize