I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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