He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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