i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
