Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
