C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
