Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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