You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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