Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
