Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
