Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
