Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ketchup is God's man juice
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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