As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
