I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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