I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize