you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
