If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
