so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
