This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
