The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
