Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
