I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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