we have pet lesbian snakes
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
