It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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